Pedantic shit-talker guy - This guy goes to shows just to talk shit about the bands and will ruthlessly pick apart whoever is in stage. Pedantic shit-talker guys are easy to pick out because they will turn to whoever is next to them and smile everytime the band makes a mistake no matter how minor.
Off-beat swaying guy - This guy fucking sucks. He's attempting to look really into the music but lacks any sense of rhythm. He's constantly having to correct the way he's moving because he's off-time and typically looks he's doing "the Robot".
Girl that won't shut the fuck up about her boyfriend - Self-explanatory.
Frighteningly motionless guy - This guy does not move or avert his gaze while the band is playing. Between songs he will turn to his friend, nod and say "they're good". When the band begins playing again he will resume his death stare.
The "I'm important" guy - This guy never shuts the fuck up about how he knows the band and how last time they were in town he shook the bass players hand.
Guy that won't fucking stop giving you dirty looks for smoking a cigarette - Fuck you dude. Seriously, I hope you die of secondhand smoke. Watch the fucking band damnit.
Unknown body odor guy - This guy smells like ass, but you're not quite sure who it is. You look around and see only fairly well-groomed people and are left wondering which of them forgot the fucking deodorant.
Drunk-as-fuck shirtless frat guy - This sweaty neanderthal has been drinking since he got out of class at 2PM. It's a wonder how we was able to successfully drive to the show without doing a faceplant through his windshield into a telephone poll. Though the shirt will come off, his backward baseball cap will not.
"One of the guys" girl - This girl is usually slightly overweight and desperate for any kind of male attention. She's probably wearing a black guys t-shirt at least a size of too large. This is to cover up the fact that she has a bit of a gut. She'll get into the pit but be pre-occupied with looking over at her friends until drunk-as-fuck shirtless frat guy lays her out.